So I read a significantly known blogger's latest article. He was sharing about how this year he would be spending Christmas all alone. Due to his recent break up. He writes about comparisons between him and her justifying why it did not work out. Through these reasons pointed out and the way it is written, it sounded like it was never meant to be. It sounded as if it was failing against "fate".
Reading the article clearly showed what was... incompatible between the both of them. Sounded like he did a lot for her, trying to fulfill her expectations whilst not giving up what he wanted to do. I will try my best to refrain from citing the really obvious points. So to whomever is oblivious or dense, bad luck. Emphasis was placed on arguing often. Arguing is caused by absence of mutual agreement. Most of the time disagreements are often caused by unwillingness to see, listen and most of all give.
I remember watching one episode of Judge Judy while I was in Australia. To the arguing ex-couple who were the prosecutor and defendant, she said "A relationship is about giving." To dumb people, they may go "what on earth is she talking about?" I thought about that sentence, it made perfect sense to me. If you're in a relationship it should be because of love. You love the person so much that you would do a lot of things for that person. It would not ever cross your mind to seem like a burden. Because you love that person. A long while back I wrote about love so I do not wish to repeat myself, unless of course by popular request.
Now, take that attitude of loving someone, put two persons who love each other. Would you think there would be much disagreements? Especially when it comes to who gets their way? It should not even matter in the first place! Once you feel it has become a burden, a chore or something you do not feel comfortable doing... you should beware that something is not right. These are the small starting signs that the relationship is in danger. Reading on many articles about what authors' view on a relationship, I would like to quote this. A relationship should be an addition to your life. It should not overwrite your existing one.
I see some people whom after they got a girlfriend, turn themselves into a different person. His entire life's schedule revolves around the girlfriend, he has to do everything for her. Drive her around, buy her things and a whole lot of other menial tasks. The guy literally is a shell of his former self, you do not see him for who he really is anymore, everything he does has to be in relevance to her or for her. That is no way to live. It is voluntarily enslaving yourself to a person who probably is just using you while you are still useful and is not depleted.
If the girl loved the guy she was with, she would understand him and not throw a bitch fit at certain things. Unless of course if a plan was set and mutually agreed upon and the guy did not fulfill it and has no good reasons for it, he deserves to be yelled at. This of course brings us to the point of communication. Interaction. A lot of arguments in relationships happen due to expectations that were not made known to each other beforehand. Also maturity comes into play I guess... If you are the type that refuses to work things out and it has to be your way, then you are screwed. You should not think about having a relationship at all.
Okay... I am sleepy now. Have to wake up in 3 hours time... Will continue later.
Reading the article clearly showed what was... incompatible between the both of them. Sounded like he did a lot for her, trying to fulfill her expectations whilst not giving up what he wanted to do. I will try my best to refrain from citing the really obvious points. So to whomever is oblivious or dense, bad luck. Emphasis was placed on arguing often. Arguing is caused by absence of mutual agreement. Most of the time disagreements are often caused by unwillingness to see, listen and most of all give.
I remember watching one episode of Judge Judy while I was in Australia. To the arguing ex-couple who were the prosecutor and defendant, she said "A relationship is about giving." To dumb people, they may go "what on earth is she talking about?" I thought about that sentence, it made perfect sense to me. If you're in a relationship it should be because of love. You love the person so much that you would do a lot of things for that person. It would not ever cross your mind to seem like a burden. Because you love that person. A long while back I wrote about love so I do not wish to repeat myself, unless of course by popular request.
Now, take that attitude of loving someone, put two persons who love each other. Would you think there would be much disagreements? Especially when it comes to who gets their way? It should not even matter in the first place! Once you feel it has become a burden, a chore or something you do not feel comfortable doing... you should beware that something is not right. These are the small starting signs that the relationship is in danger. Reading on many articles about what authors' view on a relationship, I would like to quote this. A relationship should be an addition to your life. It should not overwrite your existing one.
I see some people whom after they got a girlfriend, turn themselves into a different person. His entire life's schedule revolves around the girlfriend, he has to do everything for her. Drive her around, buy her things and a whole lot of other menial tasks. The guy literally is a shell of his former self, you do not see him for who he really is anymore, everything he does has to be in relevance to her or for her. That is no way to live. It is voluntarily enslaving yourself to a person who probably is just using you while you are still useful and is not depleted.
If the girl loved the guy she was with, she would understand him and not throw a bitch fit at certain things. Unless of course if a plan was set and mutually agreed upon and the guy did not fulfill it and has no good reasons for it, he deserves to be yelled at. This of course brings us to the point of communication. Interaction. A lot of arguments in relationships happen due to expectations that were not made known to each other beforehand. Also maturity comes into play I guess... If you are the type that refuses to work things out and it has to be your way, then you are screwed. You should not think about having a relationship at all.
Okay... I am sleepy now. Have to wake up in 3 hours time... Will continue later.
1 response[s]:
Happy New Year babes! I pray that God would bless you abundantly with much success and fruitfulness in whatever you do, dream of and hope for. May he also bless you with good health and more inspiration. That He will soon give you vision for His purposes and works in your life.
Keep the writing coming!
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