One Of Those Times

I had a discussion with a friend online earlier. It was regarding my current anger and also somehow related to my bad experiences of the past while growing up. I know I know that most everybody would claim that everybody had their share of shit that they went through and go through.

For some reason she brought up the... attitude of 'self fulfilling prophecy'. An example of how to describe it would be a person who keeps thinking negative thoughts on himself and also expecting the worse things to happen to him will somehow or rather enable those events to happen as if that person will those things to happen. Oh how I wish I had such supernatural powers. I did not tell her that I disagreed with such a thing. Furthermore I do not think that my current behavior is of that anyway. The reason being that some situations are without our control, whereby the unwanted circumstances are caused by other people. Perhaps the reason why she thought of such a thing during our conversation was because maybe, just maybe she thought that I was doing that. As stated I do not think I have such powers to inflict upon myself. I would believe that I am able to read people so much so that I am able to predict their most likely form of actions. Sounds like I am full of myself right?

I wonder, if I dropped a pen onto the floor and before I did it, I said something like "This pen will drop onto the floor!" Would that be called prophecy? Or if someone was convicted for murder and I said "That person is going to prison!" Would that be prophecy?

Here I am awake at 4am refusing to sleep because of my unquenched anger. It is not the type of anger where I would go breaking stuff or shouting. It is the type where it eats at the heart, darkening the mind, suffocating the soul. Once more I am frustrated at how people are able to get away with it and the victims continue suffering and there is nothing that can make things right. I feel so powerless like a person who has just been robbed, like a person who has been deceived out of his valued belongings. Knowing the fact that what was lost will never returned again. Knowing the fact that there is nothing that can be done about it. Knowing the fact that nobody really cares. Knowing the fact that life still continues.